Someone is Dying
Someone is dying.
That someone is me.
Not a 6 month to one year prognosis from a terminal illness, but a letting go of all I have ever known.
I used to believe that fear would save me. Worry just enough, and maybe even sprinkle just a little extra anxiety to convince myself I can control future events.
I know nothing. Except for this moment. Beginner’s Mind, my mind is like an empty page. The words cannot be written, the colors cannot be painted until the moment arrives.
And when it does, I will know who to be, what to say, what to do. I am on the right path. I wish to let go of all my preconceived notions of what will happen. The only thing I wish to hold onto is trust in this practice.
Good bye old mind. I do not hate you. I do not wish for you to die sooner than you must. You brought me here. I will collect ashes from your pyre, let them scatter with the wind and float on the river.
You will join the earth, as I am born again.
That someone is me.
Not a 6 month to one year prognosis from a terminal illness, but a letting go of all I have ever known.
I used to believe that fear would save me. Worry just enough, and maybe even sprinkle just a little extra anxiety to convince myself I can control future events.
I know nothing. Except for this moment. Beginner’s Mind, my mind is like an empty page. The words cannot be written, the colors cannot be painted until the moment arrives.
And when it does, I will know who to be, what to say, what to do. I am on the right path. I wish to let go of all my preconceived notions of what will happen. The only thing I wish to hold onto is trust in this practice.
Good bye old mind. I do not hate you. I do not wish for you to die sooner than you must. You brought me here. I will collect ashes from your pyre, let them scatter with the wind and float on the river.
You will join the earth, as I am born again.
posted by mermaid at 2:30 PM
4 Comments:
Deep, very deep love, only the rising of love....
i have gathered you from my own ashes, i have walked with you through my own death.
i know your words...the mouth of my mind fought day in and day out until the chattering ceased, deafen by its own decibels,killed by its own fatigue.
You are not alone , for i love you., wherever you are, whoever you are.....Your coming and going will not make any differences to me , for we have been side by side all the time. in every sunrise, togather, we celebrate in love , and in every sunset we die to this world.
Dying is the most beautiful word i discovered....when the fear has gone;
Alive ,one is in the tremedousness of the instant...when truth has kissed our mouth, is'nt it?
What we live is not exceptional, others have before us and others will after us.
What is exceptional - is the meeting with ourselves. Witness this oneness.
So luminous are your words when you say " ..old mind..i do not hate you. i do not wish for you to die 'sooner than you must'. you brought me here. i will collect ashes from your pyre, let them scatter with the wind....."
( could'nt help re-typing it , the truth in it is burning).
The beautiful Buddha-hood unmasking you, that too must be drop...the self can be atlast,in its nakedness without anybody's garbs, but in its own loveliness.
in this loveliness, and to this loveliness i begin to pray again.
the flute of my soul transforms the wind into music.
How can i not tell you this, in all modesty...that the flowerbuds of flames bursting, crackling and purifying, have long swept the traces of the mind.
Those who read the biography of the universe know that the biography of the universe is written by silence.
in this beautiful river of your wisdom drowning is only a privelege.
kiss u
j
nb: once again , was carried by the verbes.
Hmmmm....this might sound silly, but I love the saying "let go or get dragged". Simple and so true.
Your words of wisdom and acceptance and trust, and gratitude for the mind that brought you to this present state...so beautifully expressed. You are right where you are supposed to be.
I hold your hand and celebrate this becoming in you.
xo
I celebrate the growing your are doing through this death. Phoenix!
J, it has been a long journey, and one I would undertake again if only to bring me here to this new place of understanding.
Jaime, thank you. It seems as if you are on you own unique journey, and it is so beautifully expressed through your photos and your words.
Mb, I know you have been through some deep things and possibly your own death to celebrate my own!
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