As a parent, I have recently practiced paying attention to what happens inside my mind and body when my three year old daughter ‘misbehaves’. I’ve noticed a tightening in my body while my mind is telling me, “She’s doing this to make you mad. She’s doing this to test you. Gain some control. You’re the parent!”
As I practice more mindfulness in daily life, and not just while sitting in meditation, I’ve also noticed that I’m a big planner. I need to know. I’m checking my Blackberry constantly for new emails or telephone calls, and thinking about what I need to do the next hour, day , week, even month so I won’t forget something important.
I’ve realized my daughter’s behavior is partially a preschooler wanting to test her independence and partially a little girl asking her mom to pay attention. Before I get up to do something, or check email, I am going to try to just be aware. The future can really do a number on me with all its uncertainties.
I'll try not to fight it or myself anymore. Let me just be aware.
N, I love you very much, for your birth, for your entry into my life, and for your perseverance in helping me to wake up to the present. There isn’t anything else, is there sweetie?
Percolating again
1 day ago
7 comments:
Another beautiful post. Again, we are so like one another it is amazing. Being in the moment and aware is all that exsits and it is wonderful :-).
What an inspiring and loving post. i can relate to you, I have an eight-year-old son and I love every minute of being his Mom.
Oh my - it is so strange that when I read your post so much of it sounds like my thoughts. Thoughts of yesterday, today and what will be.
Here I am the age of probably your mother.
I am wondering am I better. Oh yes I am better but have to remember it is a journey that I am on and life is an ongoing learning experience.
Thank you for this reminder on this early morning.
M,
Such a lovely, thoughtful post and amazing leg of the journey you are on. So much noticing and healing! Like you, I think new awarenesses are so important and I love that they come in dribbles, just enough to allow us to notice and take it in.
One of my greatest lessons in mindfulness came from my (then) 3 year old grandmother. She was always inviting me to play (she was living with us at the time) and I had a tendency to make excuses because I was engaged in something else in that moment--something that I thought was more important. She really turned me around on this one and her loving persistence "woke me up" to the joy that can be here, right now, esp. when we let go of the "shoulds" to play a bit more. Oh, the lessons little ones give us! Hugs to you today!
Wow I love this post. I pop in and out and when I do I always find a gem here. I have been saying similar things to myself and trying to remind myself to be in the moment now.
thank you
Thank you again, Mermaid, for your wonderful insight. I am also in the process of becoming more mindful in the moment. It is shocking how rarely I am in the now. It is good to know others are on the same path today.
This is beautiful, dear Mermaid.
I've found through the years that I have learned as much from my children as they have learned from me. The most important thing I have learned is patience. I was never a patient person before I had my two darlings. I wish I had been more mindful of every moment when they were younger, though. I'm so glad you are seeing the importance of mindfulness while little N is still young! You'll be so glad you did.
Hugs,
Angela
Post a Comment