On my blog, I talk a lot about emotions as doorways. Each day, a new experience arises and reminds me how difficult emotions really do have important lessons for those of us willing to listen.
Today, I decided to take N on a lovely picnic near a local lake after school. We picked up some sandwiches and bags of chips on the way. I was certain she would love the potato chips, as she does not get to have them often.
I spread a sheet in the shade under a tree, and we began to have lunch. The weather was a delightful and breezy 72 degrees. Ducks paddled over the lake’s surface, and a couple waved to us as they walked by. “Nice day, huh?” I was grateful for N’s company, the abundance of food, and the serenity of Nature in late spring.
Just then, N wanted to sit in my lap. A few birds were merrily chirping and hopping nearby us. She wasn’t appreciating the local chorus of birdsong as I was. She wanted to leave, NOW. I sang with the birds, and we even picked out some names for them. This appeased her for a while, until some insects began to fly close to her.
I took the sheet and placed it on higher ground near a small wooden dock next to the lake. I felt that this might offer N a bit more security. She did let me finish my sandwich, and then we took her food into the car. After she was done, I proposed a walk around the lake. She was yawning and looked sleepy, so we came home.
To my surprise, she wanted to go to a local favorite park, so I packed her sand toys and some grapes, and off we were again. At the park, she didn’t play much with her sand toys, and really didn’t sit on the swing for longer than five or ten minutes.
I was secretly hoping to salvage the day with the park. I had initially noticed a subtle feeling of discontent at the lake, and this feeling was growing into a larger worry. What did I do wrong? Didn’t I know N gets frightened of birds and insects when they are too close? Maybe it would have been better to have lunch at home and then go for a walk around the lake. Or maybe it would have been better to just go to the park after lunch.
The possibilities were endless.
After we got home from the park, I sensed that N just wanted to take a nap. She must be exhausted from the weekend with her grandparents. It was unusual for her to ask to come home from the park.
I did nothing wrong, and everything right today. When I sensed that N was uncomfortable, I did what I could to help her. My feelings of aversion and fear were really held by a mother called Understanding. Our emotions are very much like children. They can deplete much of our energy. They can also be highly unpredictable. They require a mindful presence that seeks to nurture than destroy, to comfort than criticize, to love than hate all that they are trying to teach us.
Emotions, I love you all. Like N, you are all my children. This mother will continue to open her arms to embrace all of you.
You are my path to healing.
Percolating again
1 day ago
8 comments:
It turns out N spiked a fever later this evening. I am glad I was mindful and embraced all that I could.
Oh wow, just saw your comment. Isn't that amazing the way she turned inwards before the onset, like all her energy was needed internally? Maybe that's reading too much into it, but that is how it read.
As for mindfulness, I left out my lesson on that re: the eraser story I mentioned in my post. Several minutes before we realized what had happened (because she got a bloody nose) my daughter came to me and said 'Mom, I have something in my nose.' Not thinking by 'something' she meant 'foreign object' I told her to get a tissue. But in retrospect, that was not a normal statement, and she looked apprehensive when she said it. I was busy and didn't follow through on that observation in the moment. Luckily it all worked out, but I realized once again how important paying attention can be...
"Our emotions are very much like children. They can deplete much of our energy."
How true is that!
Lovely post.
See, you did everything right, N just did not feel good. We are so often so hard on ourselves. It is important to embrace all our emotions and let go of resistance.
We are both learning this lesson :-).
Hello, my friend.
As always, I admire your vigilant mindfulness. I recall those times when my children just didn't respond the way I had hoped, especially to a planned event. LIke you, I often discovered they were really under the weather. How important it is for stay open and loving to ourselves as we navigate the seas of our emotions.
Can it be that lovingkindess is the answer to everything that ails us? I suspect it is. :-) xxoo
(Pop on over today if you can. We are singing a song of joy...along with the birds. :-)
Oh yes. I can remember many times when my children didn't respond how I thought they should. I would be hurt and dissapointed. Usually, later, I would usually find out that there had been a good reason for their behavior. It seems all parents go through this again and again.
You are a wonderful, intuitive, mother, dear Mermaid. Little N is so fortunate.
I have been away to long! Beautiful post! I think we forget that our children are there own little person and may not appreciate the things we do. My kids would be bored to tears sitting at a park listening to birds! You did a great job picking up on your daughter's need to go elsewhere. It's easy to become frustrated...but you did everything right!
Insightful post, Mermaid! "Our emotions are very much like children..." This is so true; also your note of how to 'manage' those errant emotions...with love! Thanks so much.
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